Saw the Doctor AGAIN!!!

Okay, so I went back to the Dr. in Omaha yesterday. I planned and strategized with my mom about how we were going to "lay down the law" while were there, because these drives every six weeks were getting old, not to mention the time I was taking away from work. We get in there and the dr. once again says I DON'T KNOW why you are losing your peripheral vision. And mom and I both say that we can't keep coming back every six weeks when there is nothing being done. She agrees with us and suggests one more avenue. . .

She has a colleague who used to practice in Iowa City that she would refer patients to when she couldn't find the answer herself, but he has since moved to Texas. She is going to email him and ask him if he has any suggestions and hope that he has some clue as to what we could do. I jokingly told her that it would be awesome if he would come here to see me so that in the event he does want to see me, I wouldn't have to travel to Texas.

So let's go to our knees and pray that God will guide this doctor to give us the answers we need.

Reflections on a Good Life. . .

11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.14 I will be found by you," says the LORD.

I have really been thinking recently about our dear friend Curtis Lautt. I don't know if it because I am in the process of getting a children's book published that will honor his memory or if it is just God wanting me to spend some time thinking about the important things.

When Curtis went home, we were all devastated. I had only seen my husband cry one other time and that was when we thought we were losing Myka. He had been Mr. Tough guy up until Curtis's dad, Bryan, had handed Jeremy a letter that Curtis had written before he left for one of his missions trips. Jeremy keeps that letter in his Bible along witht he "program" from Curtis' funeral.

I can honestly say I sit and smile about the few days we spent in Harvey. That was one of, if not THE, most amazing journey I have ever gone on. Yes is does beat Travel Camp, AND my honeymoon.

Why you may ask, well I could literally feel God; as I'm sure most everybody there could. We arrived in Harvey just before the praise service that was being held the day before the funeral. This time was spent remembering the good things about Curtis and singing praises to God. This was when I finally got to meet Ginny and see his whole family again. The funny thing is, Curtis's mom mistaked my husband for one of her nephews. . .

I of course shared about the times I spent in Curtis and Jeremy's dorm room with the two of them, laughing until I hurt. I would watch Curtis practice his rope tricks with the ceiling fan running. I patiently waited for the time when the rope caught the fan and it came crashing to the floor, it never did. I had been amazed to listen to all of his close friends talk about what a gifted singer and guitar player Curtis was. . .Well I was there when he was first learning, he wasn't so gifted then.

I miss him dearly, but know that he is having the greatest time where he is. Maybe he is even watching over the child we just lost. . .Hug him for me okay Curtis.

I miss you. . .God Bless.

Open Arms. . .

There are babies everywhere. . .most of them of course are at church, it seems there is a new baby born each week within my church family. Each and every time there is an announcement made that a new baby has joined us, I rejoice with the family, yet a little piece of my heart breaks off. It is not my baby that has been born. I have never made it a secret to anyone that I truly desire just one more baby. . . and yet, Jeremy makes it no secret that he has no desire for a baby. So we are at an crossroads, which way to we go, my way or Jeremy's way???? I have recently gained some peace in realizing that we go neither of those ways. . .we go God's way. For His way is PERFECT!

Just before Easter, when the doctors had decided that I also needed to have my heart checked for defects (there were none). I discovered that we were going to take a turn down my road. . .there indeed was a baby on the way. I was excited and apprehensive in the same breath. . .I had had enough health issues over the past few years, that I wasn't so sure this was the right time for a baby. It turns out that God revealed to me and my family that, I was right. I was able to walk down my road for about 3 days before He welcomed my third child into His open arms.

People would tend to spend the rest of there time for me now feeling sad for me or telling me how sorry they are for the loss of a baby. The truth is, I was okay with a miscarriage before it even happened. Yes I want another baby, and Yes I can feel that baby in my open, empty arms, but you know what???

My arms are full. I have opened them and embraced God. I know that maybe there is one more baby for me and maybe not, only God can determine that. But for now with all the babies at church, my brand new beautiful niece, and the two other babies at work (my boss and another co worker have recently added to their families); I will have open and full arms for a while.

God Bless Everyone!

My Crazy Eyes and the 4th of July

Okay so my crazy eyes decided to fuzz themselves out over the 4th of July weekend. I really was not seeing well most of the weekend. It was even giving me a headache, but I chose to sort of ignore it most of the time. I have been so used to not being able to see well, that it is common place for me to have a "fuzz out" from time to time. The more I thought about it I decided that maybe there has been an improvement (crossing fingers) or deterioration in my sight again that will require a new glasses prescription. Guess I should call my local eye doctor again and discuss it with her.

We had an amazing 4Th of July. Church in the morning which was fun (always is), nap after lunch, then we spent the evening at my sisters house. My mom made some amazing ribs, and when I say amazing, all of her food is amazing so this just added to my enjoyment of the holiday. Jeremy and I took our girls and my niece and nephew to the Giltner park where they shot off something like 80 to 100 parachutes for the kids to catch. That was fun to watch the kids rush for them, plus then I didn't even have to purchase my yearly supply, I knew they were going to shoot them at the park. The fireworks display in Giltner was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Especially the final ground display, each shot had red white and blue in it, gorgeous.

Oh and the Agency I have been corresponding with has decided that they would like to go ahead and represent me so that my dream of becoming a published author is becoming more of a reality than I ever dreamed it would. The next step is to have the manuscript formally edited and critiqued.

So once again I have exciting things and not so exciting things, but God blesses me daily, and I pray He Blesses You Too!