I Went Back So Far So Good

Okay so I FINALLY got to go back to the Hillsboro Arts and Crafts Fair in Hillsboro, KS. I have not been there since the whole crazy health episode started three years ago. Incidentally, this would be the week that it started too.

I was lucky enough to go with a great friend, Crystal Dieckmann, and her daughter Katelyn. We had a ton of fun, and I was literally fried in the process. Who would have thought that while it was a low 50 degrees here at home, it was 94 in Hillsboro. But it was good. The best part for me was watching the looks on Crystal's face when she first saw the show, the witnessing her excitement when she purchased a sled with the families name on it.

I say so far so good, because this week I feel pretty good. I joked with a friend that because I hadn't gone back since the whole episode started, I was hoping to go down and be healed. I am in no way healed, but I at least haven't had an episode of blindness, a migraine headache, and my feet are near as swollen as they have been the last few weeks. So really it is so far so good. . .

On another note, I am in the middle of my EXTREMELY busy time at work so I just wanted to warn all of you if it takes me awhle to post again it is because there really is NO TIME!

Turning a Corner

Eliana was trying to help Myka tie her shoes.


Preparing to leave for the first day!

This week our family turned a HUGE corner, the SCHOOL corner. Jeremy and I sent both of our girls to school this year. Yes, that is right, for those of you who know me, I was VERY excited for this day to come. I love my babies very much and would love to keep them with me, but I rejoice in the money saved! Our day care payments are no more until the summer.

Myka outsider her Kindergarten room.


Eliana just outside the Second Grade room. . .how is it that I have a second grader???

I have always respected those of you who CAN homeschool. I have also said that I love my children enough to send them to school. Now before any of you get offended by that statement, let be elaborate. . . The relationship I would have with my girls would not be a good one if I were to stay home with them all day AND try to teach them all that they need to know. I get frustrated very easily with my girls, and vice versa, I am sure I frustrate them. I WOULD NOT have enough patience to teach them. I know that sounds funny coming from someone with a teaching degree, I know it would probably be different if I had them in the school setting. What it boils down to is that I have no desire to home school. Those of you who do, go for it and enjoy, in some ways you are much stronger than me.

BLESSINGS

I Am My Own Mystery Diagnosis

A new wrinkle has surfaced in what I have decided is a real life Soap Opera. . .I am the main character and the supporting cast is all of the doctors who can't seem to make a decision. Well here is the new wrinkle or story line, if we were talking in Soap terms. . .My feet and hands have swollen A LOT!! As a matter of fact, I cannot even get flip flops on! So at night I go home an dsit down and doe NOTHING but put my feet up. By bed time the swelling goes down enough that my feet don't hurt, but not completely away. Then in the morning when I wake up I pull my block feet out of bed and begin the swelling process again. . .

I went to the doctor this morning to see if he could figure something out. . .guess what. . .HE DIDN'T. He ran a full panel of blood tests, and everything came back completely NORMAL. However, how can extremely swollen feet and sort of swollen hands be NORMAL? But then again I AM NOT NORMAL :).

Oh I want to offer a prayer point as well. . .my sister will be having a minorish surgery on Thursday. Please pray for the doctors hands and the decisions he has to make while he is working on her. Her thyroid has been "dead" for over a year and now her parathyroid gland is OVER ACTIVE! So they are planning to remove the parathyroid gland on Thursday, but the doctor has said if he does not like the looks of the Thyroid, he will take it at the same time.

Thanks for your prayers for both me and my sister, I would be as peaceful about my CRAZY health as I am without them.

Saw the Doctor AGAIN!!!

Okay, so I went back to the Dr. in Omaha yesterday. I planned and strategized with my mom about how we were going to "lay down the law" while were there, because these drives every six weeks were getting old, not to mention the time I was taking away from work. We get in there and the dr. once again says I DON'T KNOW why you are losing your peripheral vision. And mom and I both say that we can't keep coming back every six weeks when there is nothing being done. She agrees with us and suggests one more avenue. . .

She has a colleague who used to practice in Iowa City that she would refer patients to when she couldn't find the answer herself, but he has since moved to Texas. She is going to email him and ask him if he has any suggestions and hope that he has some clue as to what we could do. I jokingly told her that it would be awesome if he would come here to see me so that in the event he does want to see me, I wouldn't have to travel to Texas.

So let's go to our knees and pray that God will guide this doctor to give us the answers we need.

Reflections on a Good Life. . .

11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.14 I will be found by you," says the LORD.

I have really been thinking recently about our dear friend Curtis Lautt. I don't know if it because I am in the process of getting a children's book published that will honor his memory or if it is just God wanting me to spend some time thinking about the important things.

When Curtis went home, we were all devastated. I had only seen my husband cry one other time and that was when we thought we were losing Myka. He had been Mr. Tough guy up until Curtis's dad, Bryan, had handed Jeremy a letter that Curtis had written before he left for one of his missions trips. Jeremy keeps that letter in his Bible along witht he "program" from Curtis' funeral.

I can honestly say I sit and smile about the few days we spent in Harvey. That was one of, if not THE, most amazing journey I have ever gone on. Yes is does beat Travel Camp, AND my honeymoon.

Why you may ask, well I could literally feel God; as I'm sure most everybody there could. We arrived in Harvey just before the praise service that was being held the day before the funeral. This time was spent remembering the good things about Curtis and singing praises to God. This was when I finally got to meet Ginny and see his whole family again. The funny thing is, Curtis's mom mistaked my husband for one of her nephews. . .

I of course shared about the times I spent in Curtis and Jeremy's dorm room with the two of them, laughing until I hurt. I would watch Curtis practice his rope tricks with the ceiling fan running. I patiently waited for the time when the rope caught the fan and it came crashing to the floor, it never did. I had been amazed to listen to all of his close friends talk about what a gifted singer and guitar player Curtis was. . .Well I was there when he was first learning, he wasn't so gifted then.

I miss him dearly, but know that he is having the greatest time where he is. Maybe he is even watching over the child we just lost. . .Hug him for me okay Curtis.

I miss you. . .God Bless.

Open Arms. . .

There are babies everywhere. . .most of them of course are at church, it seems there is a new baby born each week within my church family. Each and every time there is an announcement made that a new baby has joined us, I rejoice with the family, yet a little piece of my heart breaks off. It is not my baby that has been born. I have never made it a secret to anyone that I truly desire just one more baby. . . and yet, Jeremy makes it no secret that he has no desire for a baby. So we are at an crossroads, which way to we go, my way or Jeremy's way???? I have recently gained some peace in realizing that we go neither of those ways. . .we go God's way. For His way is PERFECT!

Just before Easter, when the doctors had decided that I also needed to have my heart checked for defects (there were none). I discovered that we were going to take a turn down my road. . .there indeed was a baby on the way. I was excited and apprehensive in the same breath. . .I had had enough health issues over the past few years, that I wasn't so sure this was the right time for a baby. It turns out that God revealed to me and my family that, I was right. I was able to walk down my road for about 3 days before He welcomed my third child into His open arms.

People would tend to spend the rest of there time for me now feeling sad for me or telling me how sorry they are for the loss of a baby. The truth is, I was okay with a miscarriage before it even happened. Yes I want another baby, and Yes I can feel that baby in my open, empty arms, but you know what???

My arms are full. I have opened them and embraced God. I know that maybe there is one more baby for me and maybe not, only God can determine that. But for now with all the babies at church, my brand new beautiful niece, and the two other babies at work (my boss and another co worker have recently added to their families); I will have open and full arms for a while.

God Bless Everyone!

My Crazy Eyes and the 4th of July

Okay so my crazy eyes decided to fuzz themselves out over the 4th of July weekend. I really was not seeing well most of the weekend. It was even giving me a headache, but I chose to sort of ignore it most of the time. I have been so used to not being able to see well, that it is common place for me to have a "fuzz out" from time to time. The more I thought about it I decided that maybe there has been an improvement (crossing fingers) or deterioration in my sight again that will require a new glasses prescription. Guess I should call my local eye doctor again and discuss it with her.

We had an amazing 4Th of July. Church in the morning which was fun (always is), nap after lunch, then we spent the evening at my sisters house. My mom made some amazing ribs, and when I say amazing, all of her food is amazing so this just added to my enjoyment of the holiday. Jeremy and I took our girls and my niece and nephew to the Giltner park where they shot off something like 80 to 100 parachutes for the kids to catch. That was fun to watch the kids rush for them, plus then I didn't even have to purchase my yearly supply, I knew they were going to shoot them at the park. The fireworks display in Giltner was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Especially the final ground display, each shot had red white and blue in it, gorgeous.

Oh and the Agency I have been corresponding with has decided that they would like to go ahead and represent me so that my dream of becoming a published author is becoming more of a reality than I ever dreamed it would. The next step is to have the manuscript formally edited and critiqued.

So once again I have exciting things and not so exciting things, but God blesses me daily, and I pray He Blesses You Too!